Friday, February 13, 2009

Romance - The Dying Art

At least it's dead in my sphere. Not that I think it can't be revived, mind you, but, in general, as a relationship's teeth get longer the wick of the flame seems to get shorter.

Probably anyone who reads this will do so after Valentine's Day, but keeping in the spirit of romance I thought I'd share what I consider my most romantic experience. Alas, this didn't happen with my husband. He falls more on the side of sweet and considerate than the traditional romantic, which is okay by me. Though romantic isn't necessarily the first word I use to describe him getting up with the baby in the night, I'll take it over flowers and chocolate any day. I usually find most romantic overtures cheesy, but everyone needs at least one good romantic memory.

Anyway, when I was nearly 17 I had a big crush on a very good-looking boy. We seemed to have developed a nice friendship, but I wasn't really catching any signals that he wanted it to go any further than that. One evening he showed up at my house unannounced. He asked if I would go for a drive with him. This seemed an odd request seeing as how it was snowing very hard and the roads looked covered with a thick layer of white frosting. Of course any potential danger was completely outweighed by the fact that cute guy wanted me to hang out with him. I grabbed my coat.

As it turns out we didn't drive far. He took me to a middle school parking lot and asked me to get out. Umm, okay. The snow was sifting through a purple sky in giant puffy flakes. I remember being amazed at that silent purple sky. It felt like a magical place. Cute boy opened the trunk of his car to reveal a giant speaker, then he turned on a tape he'd made for the occasion, walked up to me hand outstretched and asked me to dance. I felt breathless as he put his arms around me, the cold air urging us closer. We didn't speak. We danced, his warm breath on my neck. After two songs we got back in the car. He held my hand for a moment but didn't say anything. He just looked at me. He just looked at me. And then he took me home.

I thought something would happen between us after that. When I hinted to him about that being a turning point in our relationship he gave me a very cryptic answer that hinted towards his real feelings for me but told me that, for now, friendship was all I was getting. And that's all I ever did get.

But I will never be able to hear this song or this song without seeing that beautiful purple sky.

What was your most romantic moment?


SzélsőFa said...

Wow, this is a most romantic memory! Whoa. Thanks for sharing!

My most romantic moment...? Can't think of any, honestly. My husband is quite the practical type
But, well, yes, when we decided to get married and went to dress salons to choose a wedding dress for me. We cruised the city and finally did find the one dress. He had tears in his eyes. And so do I now as I remember. Thank you, Hoodie!!

Jamie Ford said...

I think romance is about personal chemistry and honesty. I once took a date in college to the top of the Space Needle on the 4th of July. We could watch the fireworks to the West over Elliot Bay and to the East over Lake Washington. It seemed like it had all the trappings of romance, but there was just no spark, except for the kind you light with a fuse.

Hoodie said...

Szelsofa - that's so sweet! I've always been a sucker for the stories when guys get emotional over their sweetheart in a wedding dress.

Jamie - I think you're right about that. Romantic moments can't always be tailored. But if that chemistry is already there, a few smooth moves can't hurt. :)

Beth said...

Wow, I wonder what he was thinking, why he did it. That's truly interesting to me. My most romantic moment would take some thought -- no clue. The bad boys of my youth were not romantic, but my husband used to write poems to me a lot. One poem I still have he wrote and then stood outside of our classroom watching me read it. When I looked up he said, "Sometimes you have to read up and down, not just side to side." I was really perplexed, but then I looked up and down the page and saw the letters of every line of the poem spelled out, I LOVE YOU BETH.

Wordtryst - Liane Spicer said...

I couldn't view the first video because it's not available in my country. (YouTube is getting very annoying, but that's another story.)

Sweeping romantic flourishes are all well and good, but having a special bond with someone can make the most prosaic gestures seem romantic. A special someone gave me a lift home after a beach outing. I was still barefooted from the beach and as I lifted my sleeping son from the car, he opened the door to my house, went inside, found my slippers and brought them for me. He came and read to me once when I was sick. He drove my mother to the hospital for her tests, took me to pick up my son from the airport without my asking. He made me stand still so he could watch the moonlight on my face. That sort of thing rocks my boat far, far more than the usual allegedly romantic stuff.

I think your husband is fabulous. Remember how he got in touch with your blog friends to surprise you for your birthday? And getting up with the baby in the night might not be romantic in the usual sense: it's better than that! It's the stuff that really matters. Trust me! :)

Hoodie said...

Beth and Liane - I think the poem and the slipper experiences are perfectly romantic. And Liane, I think you're right. Romantic is in the eye of the beholder. Traditional attempts sometimes seem contrived, but the little things really do make all the difference. If we count, little acts of service then my husband is the most romantic man in the world.