Comments on Tales from the Hoodie: Delicacy 101

You've gotten a lot of good advice already, so I'l...

2008-06-15T23:46:00.000-05:00

You've gotten a lot of good advice already, so I'll just say ditto. But I had no idea about the good news. Congrats!!

Scott has a good point, too.You are too close to g...

2008-06-09T13:12:00.000-05:00

Scott has a good point, too.
You are too close to get yourself into a hate-relationship.

And Beth also, for that matter.

I tend to agree with Beth, but the reality is that...

2008-06-09T13:06:00.000-05:00

I tend to agree with Beth, but the reality is that a neighbor-turned-enemy can be the end of the world was we know it. I have personal experience. You are in a most unenviable position. I think voicing your concerns has to be put delicately, but framed in the context of your children's distress might be the only way. I would probably work at having other plans for your kids on most days. Family? Other friends? After school programs, summer camps? Anything, but I would work at making them busy with other things.

You know, I never let my kids ANYWHERE without me ...

2008-06-09T10:09:00.000-05:00

You know, I never let my kids ANYWHERE without me until they were much older than 2 and even older than 5. I think their first playdate without me was when they were in first grade. It was maybe 2 hours long at first with parents I knew.

Maybe I'm a bitch, but I had no problem not letting my children to go houses with parents or homes that were not fit for my children to be fit. Better to be a bitch than let anything happen to your child.

Just my two cents. I don't see you around anymore and am glad (or sad) to see it's pregnancy and not me.

Jason and Agelique basically told all advice that ...

2008-06-09T06:26:00.000-05:00

Jason and Agelique basically told all advice that I also had in my mind except that
- I don't mind a little hands-in-panties (HIP) every now and then IF there are other activities a kid can do and HIP happens like 1% of their total time, you get the point,
- kids are to get dirty and tired and exhausted at the end of the day. This's coming from a neat Mom who urges her kids to go into the bathroom and change clothes before entering the rooms, but I suppose kids are just like this.

And yes, violence is a completely different issue.

Try to look out for other activities and other parents to have your kids share their time with their kids. Like, you might ask for some help in your church, can't you? I definitely would.

Hoodie:I'm the worst person to give this kind of a...

2008-06-08T12:46:00.000-05:00

Hoodie:

I'm the worst person to give this kind of advice because I'm not great at confrontation.

But here goes nothing...

My first thought was along the same line as Jason's... do your kids really enjoy the other kids' company, or are they just going over there because it's convenient?

If they don't like it, can you find some other kids for them to play with? Or can you, as Jason suggests, "invent" some reason for the kids to be at home? Maybe you could allow them to paint their rooms. ha ha ha. Okay, scratch that... but you get the point!

I agree about the fact they are getting hurt, too. Dirt and hurt. Sounds like a bad combo.

It's always tough when your kids bring home friends who are questionable. I'd be concerned about a girl with hands down her pants, too. Eww.

I feel for you. Maybe you can get some "miracle drug" (I had to take Zofram for my entire pregnancy -- it's used by chemo patients.) Then, you can feel more in control.

Good luck!

Angelique

That's really hard, Hoodie! I feel for you. I do...

2008-06-08T10:26:00.000-05:00

That's really hard, Hoodie! I feel for you. I don't like confronting other people unless they've started the battle.

One staring point is do your kids still want to play? Even after they are hurt? If they still want to play, then you've got a double problem. They will be working against you and might repeat anything you say.

If they don't want to go play, then it's easier. Can you invent some reasons your kids need to stay home? Maybe you are doing some kind of home course and need their attention and time without visitors. Start small, then let it grow. After a while, you might be off the hook. If they are right next door, though, I'm not sure you can ever be completely free without starting a feud.

Another solution might be to be right up front about the physical hurts. You could say that her kids are just too rough for your kids to be alone with them. That way, you're not attacking their parenting, you're saying your kids are just not as rough and tumble.